Enneagram 7 and 9 Relationship  

Are you interested in the Enneagram 7 and 9 relationship? This guide is for you!

Type 7 – The Optimistic Entertainer

Epicurian Optimist, Revolutionary, Enthusiastic, Multi-talented, Adventuresome, Innovative

Type 9 – The Serene Negotiator

Negotiator, Keeper of the Peace, Reasonable, Pleasant, Modest, Humble Pacifist

Type 7 & 9 Core Patterns

Playing emotional hide-and-seek games is a common trait between Types Seven and Nine.

Neither of them wants to deal with any type of emotional pain, and they both avoid the setbacks that can be caused by negative thoughts.

Sevens are prone to flitting from one project, experience, and social event to the next.

Their big distraction from emotional pain and anxiety is fun. Nines, on the other hand, detach from emotional turmoil.

They numb themselves with addiction or by remaining completely inactive. However, both of these personality types are adventurous.

They are both optimistic social butterflies.

Values Shared by Types Seven and Nine

Types Seven and Nine have many characteristics in common.

They share similar outlooks on life and deal with conflict almost identically.

Each takes the attitude of seeking the silver lining in a given situation, and both are excellent problem solvers.

They both seek to find the most agreeable outcome.

Both Sevens and Nines love to be socially engaged.

They are thrilled by the prospect of meeting new people, seeing new places, and experiencing new things that offer stimulation or that they find enchanting.

Both are gregarious and value others who share these qualities. These two personality types rarely pout or brood.

How Types Seven and Nine Complement One Another

Types Nine and Sevens make exceptionally complementary couples because they possess the perfect balance of differences and similarities.

These couples rarely find themselves at odds with one another, albeit they do have their moments. They rarely compete with one another.

These personality types enjoy similar amounts of stimulation, social engagement, and relaxation.

While Nines prefer a little more rest than energetic Sevens, everything else seems to be well-balanced.

Sevens and Nines also both need to be attracted to the same aspects of culture as the other partner, and in the same way.

They are both attracted to similar eateries, galleries, hiking adventures, and so forth, and are so well matched to stay abreast of the other’s activities perfectly.

They keep a gentle rhythm together, even if Sevens does become a little too frisky at times.

However, nines manage to maintain the balance with a mix of containment and equanimity.

Conversely, Nines can become ensconced in the state of being inactive and display slothful characteristics at times.

However, their Seven partners have what it takes to restore movement and re-engagement with the new and exciting.

These couples share strong resiliency when setbacks present themselves, inspiring many to become business partners.

The strength they bring to their relationships is far beyond that of many Enneagram personality type matches.

Sevens provide remarkable mental acuity, a childlike curiosity and an inordinate sense of fun.

Nines provide a grounded, steady acceptance of reality and meet the world with an open-hearted presence.

Sevens and Nines embody the potential for a great deal of mind/body expansion.

How Type Nines and Sevens Can Get Into Trouble

“Trouble” almost seems to be an unknown foreign language to this pairing.

Even when a problem arises, their healthy coping mechanisms and positive outlook preclude their ability to admit that a problem even exists.

Their living in denial of the negative can also mean, however, that they go without addressing their problems at all.

Both of these personality types are excellent deniers, especially when the topic addresses emotional pain, struggle, or some kind of discomfort.

Sevens dive into their denial by demonstrating gluttonous behavior.

They hedonistically consume their world and everything it holds, including new places, people, and things.

Nines deny their pain by becoming emotionally numb or by simply metaphorically turning their heads in the other direction.

Combined, Seven’s and Nine’s denial techniques indicate that when something untoward rears its ugly head in their dynamic, it turns into a fantasy wasteland of dark shadows and scary haunts.

This can put one or both of them into a downward spiral of denial, resulting in both of them literally becoming frightened of their own shadows.

This results in alienation from one another and from themselves. They wander disconnected and struggle to even look at reality.

Sevens, obsessed with honesty, can turn against type Nines, in these cases, pelting them with mean-spirited insults, demands and criticism.

Under these same circumstances, Nines become foggy-thinkers who are indecisive, but who block Seven’s verbal abuse by simply withdrawing from them.

This begins a vicious cycle of denial, abuse, and denial again, until the spiral downward begins, from which there is little hope for recovery.

Fortunately, this is a rare occurrence.

When the waters are less emotionally charged, such as in a professional setting, Sevens and Nines get into trouble due to their differences in reaction times, with Nines being more sloth-like and Sevens being so high-energy and flighty.

That which Sevens find exciting can often seem dangerous to Type Nines, and vice versa. This is one of the rare areas in which these two do not experience a meeting of the minds.

If anything overwhelming occurs, Sevens and Nines both become emotionally fragmented and cease to feel as though they are together as a team.

Both experience feelings of being at odds with one another.

The way out of this situation is to issue clear directives via concise communication that clarifies plans and goals in case anything untoward happens.

It is crucial for these two personality types to have opportunities to speak to the other candidly and to address their issues straightforwardly rather than allow grievances to fester and manifest in negative ways.

What Sevens and Nines Need To Be Aware Of

As previously noted, Type Nines usually move at a much slower pace than their Type Seven partners, but there is a reason for this, which needs to be made apparent to the Type Sevens so that they will not grow impatient with their partners.

The slow pace is not just about weighing one’s options nor considering the many different perspectives inherent in decision-making.

It manifests largely from a sense of unconscious stubbornness, which, if understood, can help Sevens endure it from a new perspective.

Sevens also need to understand that Nines work at their optimum levels when they are experiencing peace and stability.

If they can have a steady environment in which to remain stable, the natural embodiment of their higher qualities shines through to the advantage of both parties.

This is the opposite of the propensity of Type Seven.

This type thrives on the spontaneous, and Nines must learn that this is where their partners best shine.

Sevens are much quicker thinkers, and their best qualities appear when they can enjoy their environment of making quick decisions and of exercising ingenuity.

Sevens should be aware that Nines are not pushovers. They do not fall for contrived charms.

Nines are dictated by the Intuitive triad, which instills strong intuition within them so that they can see straight through Type Seven’s false veil and forced air of joy.

What serves this couple best is for them to have regular check-ins about the state of their union.

In these meetings, they should address any perceived miscommunications and grievances either of them has with the other.

Due to the easygoing nature of both types, it should take little effort to iron out all the small problems that present themselves.

How Type Nines and Sevens Can Support One Another

Type Nines can best support their Type Seven partners by enabling them to visit their negative feelings, which is a break from the sunny norm.

Sevens try hard to avoid any type of pain, boredom, or betrayal.

However, their avoidance of these things can, unfortunately, result in unfavorable consequences.

Nines can help by opening discussions about these issues and being patient listeners as their partners face the most difficult things for them.

Sevens can best support their Type Nine partners by understanding that Nines do not necessarily feel the same thrills and chills in their less high-intensity mental states.

Sevens often get so caught up in the excitement of the future that they lose sight of what it must be like for their Type Nine partners, who live more in the here and now.

They can support Nines even further by accepting their more realistic stances and participating in speaking in the present, rather than in the future, tense.

Conclusion

If a couple were well-balanced, it is the Type Nine and Type Seven pairing.

Their finely-woven interplay of giving and take seems to work perfectly together, under most circumstances.

The one thing that tends to throw them off balance is their tendencies to deny anything negative or unpleasant.

Nines avoid it because of their realist attitudes, and Sevens deny it because they are, otherwise, so positive.

Sevens and Nines are fabulous work partners and understand how to conceive, build and complete projects that can make a real impact in their lives and in the lives of others.

This is a sociable couple who genuinely cares about other people and the world in which they exist.

Their differences usually fulfill what the other partner lacks, making them bound for success as a perfectly matched couple.

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