Enneagram 9 and 9 Relationship 
Are you interested in the Enneagram 9 and 9 relationship? This guide is for you!
Type 9 – The Mediating Peacekeeper
Counselor, Peaceful, Diplomatic, Pleasant, Modest, Humble, Pacifist
Core Patterns of a Double 9 Pairing
At their core, personality Type 9s opt to take the path of least resistance.
They are peacekeepers who use mediation as their primary tool to see the different perspectives inherent in a situation.
Type 9s long to merge with other 9s in partnership and can also be so tuned in to the other person that they tend to lose sight of who they are.
This is especially true when paired with partners with clearer, stronger desires.
Values Shared by the Double 9 Pairing
Type Nines are peacemakers and peacekeepers, valuing peace overall.
They keep peace in their environments, and they try to maintain peaceful heads and hearts.
They value harmony and uncomplicated love. Connection is also an important part of Type Nine’s makeup.
This is a personality type who does not like to make waves. They desire smooth sailing and never want to rock the boat.
They also try to surround themselves with like-minded people.
How Type 9s Complement One Another
The Double Nine couple tends to have a more harmonious relationship than any other Double pairings on the Enneagram Personality Type scale.
As a couple, they flow through their lives in the simplest ways possible. They are socially graceful and find getting along with themselves and others an easy endeavor.
Magnanimous by nature, Double Nines seem to be open, honest, positive, mellow, and patient, both within their personal love lives and on the job.
Double Type Nines make the ideal teammates on the job.
They can be coached easily, and do not allow life’s minor irritations to get the best of them.
The Double Type Nine pairing can optimize virtually any circumstance or situation to turn it from hopeless negativity to positive and manageable experiences.
They tend to be understanding and forgiving and work hard always to exercise integrity.
To make things even better, they attempt to do this without causing drama or conflicts.
How The Double Type Nine Can Get Into Trouble
Because Type Nines are so easygoing, the Type Nine couple have problems when it comes time to decide who will lead.
This can result in complicated issues within their relationships.
Their lack of skill at being leaders can adversely affect decision-making and cause them to miss important opportunities to move forward in life and on the job.
It can also cause their relationships with one another and with other people to grow stale and boring.
Double Type Nines have become restless because they lack the skill to identify and ask for the things they need for emotional stability and personal growth.
Rare are the occasions upon which they even acknowledge their sincere feelings.
This lack of the ability to advocate for themselves can be a destructive element, both to their relationship and to each partner individual in other areas of life.
Type Nines are not aware of their own power and tend to remain unaware of their toolset that can help them communicate better during times in which they feel unsupported, in danger or not taken care of properly.
The frustration that this causes can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, self-perception as victims, and displaying martyr behaviors that could shed a negative light on each of his or her partners, on the job, or by society in general.
When they find themselves in difficult positions, Type Nines come up with many stories that are difficult to see through because of their denial of their own feelings.
This enables them to hide behind a veil of complacency, and this, in turn, distracts them from their life’s true passions.
It reroutes their attention and directs it toward distractions, such as video games or social media.
As a result, communication between themselves as a couple and with other people can lead to blaming behaviors, alienation, and shaming.
The only resolution is to look inward and take responsibility for their actions. This includes hurt feelings, unmet needs, and crossed boundaries.
What the Double Type Nine Pairing Needs To Be Aware Of
A primary struggle with the Type Nine personality is that of not knowing how to assert their own boundaries and needs.
This is true of Type Nines more than of any other personality type.
This problem can lead to many disagreements and conflicts, and Type Nine is reluctant to speak up when it happens.
Instead, they go inside themselves and bottle up their feelings.
The feelings build up over time, compounding in number and in the degree of seriousness, until the bottle breaks.
This causes an outpouring of months, or even years, of past grievances that suddenly appear from what seems like nowhere.
The Double Type Nine couple needs to understand that their tendency to keep their emotions pent up inside them is unhealthy, both for themselves as individuals and to the couple as a whole.
The harm it causes can also spill out into their places of employment or their interactions with friends.
Each Type Nine partner should also be aware of the fact that they thrive in environments that are creative and innovative.
This enables each partner to envision and dream.
Each person in Type Nine Double pairing also needs to understand the value of conveying clear directions and the value of being able to follow those given by others.
They must understand why they should adhere to timelines and proven procedures, essential to anyone’s creative processes.
Without these things, the attention of Type Nine is apt to stray. Type Nines need to learn to ask for clarification about things they do not understand.
Type Nines also need to be aware of the other’s tendency toward spacing out and disconnecting from the world, especially during times of stress.
When this happens, Type Nine will go numb and find themselves part of a pattern that distracts them from dealing with problems, conflicts, or confrontations that should be dealt with.
How Two Type Nines Can Best Support One Another
As professionals, Type Nines can best show support to his or her partner by articulating expectations, instructions and/or personal goals.
It is easy for one of these types to lose themselves in dreams or fantasies of
Nines can support one another on the job by giving detailed instructions about their expectations and goals.
It is easy for this personality type to get lost in those around them.
Therefore, they must have regular meetings together to discuss what each wants and needs.
Not only is this good for each partner’s personal development. It also teaches each person valuable lessons about being assertive and helps propel them toward more productive lives.
The best support that one Type Nine can give the other is to state his or her boundaries clearly and to inform one another as soon as a problem arises.
As with so many other couples, clear and concise communication is one of the most important elements in their lives together.
They are usually very surprised by how much this brings relief, rather than conflict, and the multiple ways in which it improves each person’s world by opening them up and causing them to feel less inhibited about sharing their feelings.
Conclusion
Type Nines are a great double match for one another because they share so many different traits.
While both parties tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves and tend not to complain or be overly sharing about any type of dissatisfaction, emotional negativity, or grievances, they share many positive things in common.
Both are passionate people who have a desire for intimacy.
Both love adventure and have partners with whom to share their adventures and discoveries.
Nines long for true intimacy and are a good match for one another in this respect.
They do not take their relationships for granted and care deeply about one another, often putting the relationship above all else, even each person’s needs.
This couple tends to be so close that one partner can easily take on his or her partner’s personality traits to the point that others can even confuse who said what.
The main obstacle that exists between a Double Type Nine pairing is the tendency for each partner to lose himself or herself in the relationship.
This is especially true when they face conflicts and can feel as though their world has fallen apart.
When this happens, the best thing for them is to seek outside assistance, like that offered by a counselor or a wise friend.
Each tends to shut down and divert attention from the problems at hand, so often, problems will go unsolved without some type of intervention from outside the relationship.
Type Nines tend to live their lives in harmony, and take the path of least resistance whenever possible.
As they learn eventually, however, the path of least resistance can undercut what they genuinely desire for themselves and that which they love to do, whether personally or professionally.
The best thing that a Double Type Nine pairing can do is to learn to communicate what they desire and to express their emotions openly and honestly to their partners.
This provides a win-win situation for them both and can open the door to many golden opportunities to move forward and prosper, both as a couple and in a professional environment.
