The INTP-INTJ Relationship – What does it take to work?
As with any relationship, the chances of a successful partnership must factor in how each person will develop over a period of time.
Taking a Myers-Briggs approach to assessing the compatibility of personality types can uncover some fundamental aspects of how certain personalities interact – giving us a broad indication of the likelihood of long-term success.
Keep in mind; however, theories only take us so far, and nothing is set in stone.
In this article, I will begin by viewing how each personality type looks in a romantic relationship, before examining the INTP and INTJ together.
What an INTP Looks Like In-Love
The dating and romance ‘game’ is quite challenging for INTPs. They are not the most skilled flirters, as there are too many unspoken rules around dating and finding a long-term partner.
Not everyone can appreciate their no-frills brand of honesty, which can come across as a major turn-off. They need a partner who understands some for their emotional weaknesses.
To feel content in their relationships, they require very little fuss made of them and a drama-free zone.
They prefer to play everything straight, with zero mind games – they won’t cope with a partner who is high-maintenance and will have a lot of difficulty understanding when others are playing their own forms of manipulation.
They are refreshingly transparent in romantic partnerships but may have trouble being emotionally ‘available’ to their partner a lot of the time.
INTPs need someone emotionally strong and independent who won’t constantly question the validity of the INTP’s feelings for them. Once they are ‘hooked,’ they’re loyal and committed. The INTP in love is sexually creative and passionate.
What an INTJ Looks Like In-Love
For the INTJ to have any chance of finding a long-term lover they need to loosen their grip on their exceptionally-high standards. They have a habit of running through all the pros and cons of a person to decide if they stack up or have the potential to last the distance.
For this reason, INTJs have a lot of short-term relationships before finally finding a long-term commitment.
The INTJ has the same struggles as the INTP, with flirting and the emotional mind games, so many other people love to play. However, once they’re finally committed – they are all in.
To the INTJ, games are for children. They have no time for emotional nonsense and need a partner who is very independent, with little emotional neediness.
Don’t look for the INTJs heart on their sleeve – you won’t find it. They keep their emotional side very guarded and are quite happy for you to do the same.
You’ll know an INTJ loves you by the mere fact they are loyal to you and assist you with any of your other needs. For the right person, INTJs will devote mind, body and ‘soul’ to the partnership.
Surprisingly romantic and creative in the bedroom – INTJs are happy to use some of their preferred work energy on relationships and family.
By looking at each type individually, we can see they have quite a few similarities.
INTP-INTJ Relationships & Compatibility
Intuitive Introverts can often have difficulties finding real connections in their relationships – often feeling as if they need to ‘settle’ in fear of being alone forever.
What happens when two introvert thinkers get together? Can that really work in the long term? First and foremost, any relationship can flourish if both people are willing to work together and understand what each person brings to the relationship.
However, some fundamental considerations add to the likelihood of whether the INTJ/INTP relationship will soar high or crash and burn.
Both INTJs and INTPs are similar in the way they may approach looking for a potential partner with many taking a clinical approach to the process. Both personality types seek mental stimulation, and they most definitely have the opportunity to find that in each other.
For the rest of this article, we will look at how INTJs and INTPs can form a relationship and identify the positives and challenges they may have. Both types similarly view the world with some fundamental differences that may make or break the connection.
The dynamics of personality run much more profound than whether people are introverts or are better timekeepers than another person. However, if there is one area you can count on with INTJs/INTPs, it’s that they understand each other at a core level.
As two analytical-based personalities, neither have much time for social precisions – although INTPs are moderately better at them than INTJs, which will benefit the relationship.
The INTJ will admire their INTP partner’s exceptional intellectual standards and will use it to push themselves to achieve more.
The Perceiving function of the INTP will install some impulsiveness into the relationship as INTJs often need some gentle prodding to step out of their comfort zones.
Their collective intellect and inventiveness allow for many insightful and varied conversations, which is right up the INTJ’s ‘alley,’ as they love the friendship of someone who views the world intuitively.
They are in their ‘zone’ with people who can see the broader view of the world. In the INTJ/INTP relationship, the INTJ is usually the more intuitive but not so much that they can’t relate to each other intellectually.
Other benefits of the INTJ/INTP relationship include:
- You’ll be the intellectual power couple
- Providing both individuals are willing to make a few concessions; the INTP can learn how to become a little more organized and plan ahead, the INTJ can begin to enjoy being a little more open, under the influence of their spontaneous INTP lover.
- You can rely on each other, to tell the truth without ‘dancing’ around the issue. The INTP, however, will have to be aware of how deep their INTJ’s sensitively runs.
- With the right combination, the INTJ/INTP relationship can be the ultimate team when it comes to achieving their mutual goals. One is an excellent planner and the other, a fantastic implementer.
Where things could falter
There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, and the INTJ/INTP partnership is no exception. The INTP’s stubborn behavior will test the INTJ’s patience – they have a constant need to examine new data uninterrupted and sometimes for a considerable amount of time.
Other possible challenges you could face include:
- As introverts, you run the risk of becoming complete hermits (which may actually be appealing to some)
- As an Introverted Thinker and an Extraverted Thinker, you need to aware of being in your own heads too much – INTJ’s are a little more high-functioning in the feelings department, so they’ll be a bit more ‘switched’ on than their partner
- The battle of the intellects may become an issue as both personalities are used to being right all the time. This is where maturity is a crucial factor in any relationship – sometimes there are more important things in life than being correct on every issue or the smartest person in the room
- Most INTJs detest being late to anything – INTPs on the other hand, don’t seem to be able to get anywhere on time. This could cause considerable frustration for the INTJ and will require forward planning on their behalf
- The INTJ will need to learn to embrace a little chaos in their lives if they want to succeed in this relationship – the INTP will need to at least try to get their act together
- This partnership runs the risk of thinking everyone else is just stupid and living in a little INTP/INTJ bubble. This will hurt the relationship. They will have to focus on motivating each other and try not to take everything too seriously.
Over time, the INTJ may become frustrated in their partner’s precise nature towards being too focused on the details and definitions in intellectual conversations. As an INTJ, you may find yourself doing the bulk of the housework – the simple solution would be to hire a cleaner.
On the emotional front, both types are not the greatest when it comes to expressing their feelings. The INTP can let things fester for a long time before blowing a gasket – where the INTJ will merely internalize everything.
As the intellectual power couple, other people may find you unapproachable which could result in you feeling isolated from your community.
The INTJ will have to rely on their INTP partner to help both become more affable with others. The INTP with a well-developed Extraverted Intuition will enjoy getting to know other people.
Growth Potential and Learning Opportunities
If there was ever a pairing that had the potential to adapt and grow together, it was the INTJ/INTP partnership. INTJs have been given the observation and analytical capabilities to ensure every success of this partnership.
They can watch for emotional clues and triggers that prelude those built up emotional outbursts of the INTP. Being direct with each other will result in reciprocated appreciation.
Their mutual desire for mental stimulation is likely to keep the relationship exciting and continue to develop long into the future.
As much as INTJs and INTPs both place enormous pride in their own individual knowledge banks, they also relish the concept of being romantically involved with a person they can learn more from.
This pairing will have endless fun discussing their innovations and dreams for the future.
The INTP will be excited about sharing their inventive work, new theories and philosophies and will always find an agreeable participant in their INTJ partner, to use as a sounding board to test the validity.
Mutual Dark Side
Being highly-rational types, neither of this pairing is too hung up on political correctness. Both enjoy dark humor and delight in the kinds of topics that most other people would particularly offensive.
The INTJ/INTP romantic union is very likely to thrive with plenty of dark humor without having to worry about it being perceived by a more sensitive, less-rational type of person. Individually, they may feel like people don’t ‘get’ their sense of humor.
INTPs especially come up against this problem. Because they can tend to say ‘inappropriate’ things quite loudly, many learn to suppress their humor.
With an INTJ, there’ll be no such issue – they will finally have someone who appreciates their dark humor.
Will it Last?
There is unlimited learning potential for both personalities in this union but like any relationship, it takes work, and the likelihood of success comes down to circumstances and the mutual growth of each person.