Narcissist’s Final Discard

The narcissist’s final discard is hurtful and often downright brutal. This person will leave you possibly at the worst moment possible, and, typically, they’ll blame it all on you.

However, the narcissist may also blame fate or life events, claiming that the two of you would last forever if things were different.

Unfortunately, things aren’t different, and it wouldn’t matter even if they were.

Additionally, the final isn’t always final in the eyes of the narcissist. When this person gets lonely or can’t find his or her narcissistic supply from someone else, the individual will likely try to get back into her life for a short time.

Just remember that if the narcissist comes back, this person is never there to stay for good. It will be the same cycle of dump and reconciliation for a short time over and over again if you let this happen.

What is the Final Discard?

The final discard is generally when the narcissist leaves you, often for the first time.

He or she may end the relationship, or the individual will just up and leave out of nowhere with no explanation, leaving you to wonder what happened.

Reasons the Narcissist Discards You

The narcissist has many reasons that he or she will leave a relationship.


The narcissist likes things that are fresh and new. You might say that he or she is obsessed with the thrill of the hunt.

Once this person has received what he or she wanted from you, whether it be support, money, or sex, for example, he or she is done, at least for now.

Lack of Narcissistic Supply

Once you no longer give this person what he or she needs, the narcissist will look elsewhere. This often occurs if you’re experiencing a hardship in your life that’s taking some of the attention away from the narcissist.

You’ll be stuck with your issue and the heartbreak of a broken relationship when he or she leaves.

New Supply

Since the narcissist loves making new conquests, this person will leave you once he or she finds someone else to give him or her a fix.

While the individual may frequently cheat while in a relationship, he or she will eventually leave you for the bigger, better deal.


If the narcissist is caught doing something wrong that you can’t stand by him or her for, this person will leave. Remember, the individual needs your absolute and undying support in everything.

Once you can’t give that, it’s time to toss you to the side even though you did nothing wrong.

Stages of Narcissistic Discard

You could say that once you start a relationship with a narcissist, it’s already the beginning of the end.

This person has no legitimate feelings about anyone but himself or herself, but he or she is certainly cunning and charming enough to make you believe he or she truly cares.

After the love-bombing tactics the narcissist has used to lure you into his or her world, the relationship takes on a different dynamic once you’ve been hooked.

You’re no Longer Special

In the beginning, the narcissist makes you feel like you’re one in a million and typically showers you with affection and gifts.

However, once this person knows you’re all in, this love bombing stops.

Although it may be a bit gradual, it usually happens fairly suddenly. While this should be a red flag, you’ll most likely overlook it as a phase that will pass.

The Manipulation Begins

The narcissist will work hard to control you through gaslighting and other tactics. He or she will blame you for everything, making you feel worthless and dependent on him or her.

If the narcissist feels like he or she is losing you but isn’t quite ready for the big ditch, this person may toss in brief bouts of affection or tell you what you want to hear.

But this is just to string you along until he or she finds another supply, which you can bet the narcissist is looking for.

The Narcissist no Longer Tries

Once the narcissist no longer tries to defend himself or herself when you catch this person lying, cheating, or whatever, you know the end is near. He or she will hang around a bit longer to see how much you’ll put up with.

By this time, he or she most likely has another relationship or two going on the side. He or she won’t spend as much time with you and certainly not in public.

The End is Near

Your narcissist partner will blame you for the relationship going bad even if you think everything had been going fine up until this point. He or she will make up reasons as to why you are the one who ruined the relationship.

At this point, the two of you may break up. The narcissist will leave you heartbroken and empty after tearing away every bit of self-esteem you may have had.

This person does that, makes you feel unworthy or unlovable, so that he or she may come back at a later time.

Often, the narcissist will just disappear without saying a word. You’ll think everything’s going along great, then all of a sudden, the narcissist is just gone.

If this is the case, he or she will likely be back at some point.

Is This the Narcissist’s Final Discard?

Once the narcissist leaves you, this person will likely try to come back into your life weeks, months, or even years later.

You may even hear about how you were evil while the narcissist was the victim as this person spreads lies to make himself or herself look so innocent and good to others.

What Happens After the Final Discard?

Oddly, it’s referred to as the “final discard” because it’s very rare for a narcissist ever to make it truly the end.

You see, once a narcissist exhausts his or her supply, he or she may remember getting so much from you in the past. This could make the person contact you out of nowhere.

Be aware that this individual will act as he or she has finally had an epiphany and seen the light that the two of you are meant to be together, that he or she couldn’t stop thinking about you the whole time this person was away.

This person could appear at your home, work, or frequent establishments. He or she may leave gifts for you to win you back. He or she will use hoovering and other tactics to suck you back in.

However, if you do go back, it’s only temporary. Once the narcissist has found an exciting new supply for his or her ego boost, she’ll be discarded again.

It’s important to remember that the narcissist doesn’t love you. Yes, that hurts to know, but it’s the truth. This individual isn’t capable of feeling love like others do because it’s all about the narcissist.

It’s up to You

Although the narcissist may never come back into your life, he or she will try eventually.

You may agree to talk to this person because you want closure. Any answers you get will be lies.

Either this person will blame you but be willing to give you another chance, claim that outside circumstances needed to be dealt with while your relationship was put on the back burner, or he or she has finally seen the light that the two of you were meant to be.

Just remember, you’re not going to get honest answers. The truth is, you were with a narcissist, and that’s just how they work relationships.

Instead of dwelling on the beginning of the relationship where you felt so special and loved, think about the horrible things the narcissist also put you through. Do you want to go through all of the ups and downs again just for another heartbreak?

If the narcissist knows your weaknesses, especially if you’re codependent, this person will eventually find the right words or actions to get you back every time.

This is why holding to no contact with a narcissist once he or she leaves is so important. No matter how hard this person tries to get back into your life, you must stay strong and resist any type of contact.

You may need to find a therapist to help you learn coping and resistance skills along the way, but this will help you avoid being victimized again.

Only you can create the absolutely “final” discard with the narcissist, and breaking free from this person can be the best decision you’ll make for your self-esteem and self-worth.

Can a gifted therapist help you too?

If you struggle with anxiety, depression, high-stress levels, relationship issues, or other specific challenges, one-on-one support from a therapist can help a lot.

You don’t need to go through this alone. There’s no shame in getting help!

Thousands of people get tailor-made support from a kind, empathetic, helpful therapist when faced with difficult life situations.

I recommend BetterHelp, which is a sponsor of Personality Unleashed.

It’s private, affordable, and takes place in the comfort of your own home.

Plus, you can talk to your therapist however you feel comfortable, whether through video, phone, or messaging.

Are you ready to break the negativity cycle?

Personality Unleashed readers get 10% off their first month. Click here to learn more.

Similar Posts