How to Go Low Contact with a Narcissist: A Practical Guide

Low contact with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience.

Narcissists are individuals with a personality disorder that causes them to have an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

They can be manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive, making it difficult for their victims to maintain healthy relationships with them.

In this article, the focus will be on how to go low contact with a narcissist. Low contact is a strategy that involves limiting the amount of contact one has with a narcissist in order to protect oneself from their toxic behavior.

This can be an effective way to maintain some level of relationship with a narcissist while also protecting oneself from their harmful actions.

The article will provide practical tips and strategies for how to go low contact with a narcissist, including setting boundaries, managing expectations, and seeking support from others.

Understanding Narcissism

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-worth and believe they are entitled to special treatment and attention.

Narcissists often have a fragile sense of self-esteem that is easily threatened by criticism or perceived rejection. They may react with anger or aggression when their sense of superiority is challenged.

It is important to note that not all people with narcissistic traits have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). NPD is a clinical diagnosis that requires a comprehensive evaluation by a mental health professional.

Some common traits of narcissism include:

  • Exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, and attractiveness
  • Belief that they are special and unique
  • Need for constant admiration and attention
  • Lack of empathy for others
  • Arrogant behavior and attitude
  • Exploitative behavior towards others

Understanding these traits can help individuals recognize and navigate interactions with narcissists. It is important to set boundaries and protect one’s own well-being when dealing with a narcissist.

Identifying Narcissistic Behaviors

Narcissistic behavior can manifest in many different ways, and it can be difficult to identify a narcissist without knowing what to look for. Here are some common behaviors that may indicate narcissism:

  • Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often have a hard time understanding or caring about other people’s feelings. They may dismiss others’ emotions or try to minimize them.
  • Grandiosity: Narcissists may have an inflated sense of self-importance. They may believe they are better than others, and they may expect special treatment.
  • Attention-Seeking: Narcissists often crave attention and admiration. They may go to great lengths to get attention, and they may become angry or upset if they feel ignored or overlooked.
  • Manipulation: Narcissists may use manipulation to get what they want. They may lie, twist the truth, or use guilt to get others to do what they want.
  • Lack of Accountability: Narcissists may refuse to take responsibility for their actions. They may blame others for their mistakes or try to shift the blame onto someone else.

It’s important to note that not everyone who exhibits these behaviors is a narcissist. However, if you notice a pattern of these behaviors in someone, it may be a red flag for narcissism.

Recognizing Your Boundaries

When going low contact with a narcissist, it is important to recognize and establish your boundaries. This means setting limits on what you are willing to tolerate from the narcissist and sticking to those limits.

One way to recognize your boundaries is to identify the behaviors or actions of the narcissist that cause you stress or harm. These may include verbal abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, or other forms of emotional abuse. Once you have identified these behaviors, you can set boundaries around them. For example, you may decide that you will not engage in conversations with the narcissist that involve insults or put-downs.

Another way to recognize your boundaries is to pay attention to your own feelings and reactions. If you find yourself feeling anxious, upset, or drained after interacting with the narcissist, this may be a sign that you need to set stronger boundaries. It is important to listen to your own intuition and trust your own feelings in these situations.

When setting boundaries, it is important to be clear and consistent. Communicate your boundaries to the narcissist in a calm and assertive manner. Use “I” statements to express your own needs and feelings, rather than blaming or attacking the narcissist. For example, you might say, “I feel uncomfortable when you speak to me in that tone of voice. Please speak to me respectfully.”

Remember that you have the right to set boundaries and to prioritize your own well-being. It is okay to say “no” to the narcissist’s demands or to limit your interactions with them. By recognizing and respecting your own boundaries, you can create a healthier and more balanced relationship with the narcissist.

Strategies for Low Contact

When it comes to dealing with a narcissist, going low contact can be an effective way to reduce the amount of stress and negativity in your life. Here are some strategies to consider:

  • Set clear boundaries: One of the most important steps in going low contact is setting clear boundaries. This means being clear about what you will and will not tolerate from the narcissist. For example, you may decide that you will only communicate with them via email, or that you will not respond to any messages that are abusive or manipulative.
  • Limit communication: Another key strategy is to limit the amount of communication you have with the narcissist. This may mean reducing the frequency of your interactions, or avoiding certain topics of conversation that tend to trigger negative reactions.
  • Stay calm and neutral: When you do have to communicate with the narcissist, it’s important to stay calm and neutral. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or emotional discussions, and focus on keeping the conversation as brief and business-like as possible.
  • Get support: Going low contact can be challenging, so it’s important to have a support system in place. This may include friends, family members, or a therapist who can help you stay focused on your goals and provide emotional support when you need it.
  • Focus on self-care: Finally, it’s important to prioritize self-care when dealing with a narcissist. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax, and focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle that supports your physical and emotional well-being.

Setting Up Low Contact Rules

When going low contact with a narcissist, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and rules to minimize interaction and avoid emotional engagement. Here are some steps to help you set up low contact rules:

Communicating Your Boundaries

The first step in setting up low contact rules is to communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively. This means stating what behaviors are not acceptable and what consequences will follow if those behaviors continue. It’s important to be specific and direct in your communication, using “I” statements to express your feelings and needs.

Limiting Interaction

Once you have communicated your boundaries, it’s important to limit your interaction with the narcissist as much as possible. This may mean avoiding phone calls, texts, and emails, or only responding to them at specific times of the day. It may also mean avoiding social events or gatherings where the narcissist will be present.

Avoiding Emotional Engagement

Finally, it’s important to avoid emotional engagement with the narcissist. This means not reacting emotionally to their attempts to provoke or manipulate you, and not engaging in arguments or debates. Instead, stay calm and detached, and keep your interactions brief and to the point.

By following these steps, you can set up effective low contact rules that will help you minimize your interactions with a narcissist and protect yourself from their toxic behavior.

Dealing with Guilt and Pressure

Going low contact with a narcissist can be a difficult decision to make, especially if the narcissist is a family member or a close friend. People may feel guilty about distancing themselves from the narcissist or may face pressure from others to maintain the relationship.

It’s important to remember that going low contact is a healthy and necessary step for one’s own well-being. It’s okay to prioritize one’s own mental and emotional health over the needs and wants of the narcissist.

To deal with feelings of guilt, individuals can remind themselves of the reasons why they are going low contact. They can also seek support from a therapist or a trusted friend.

When facing pressure from others to maintain the relationship, individuals can explain their decision in a calm and assertive manner. They can also set boundaries and make it clear that they will not tolerate any attempts to manipulate or guilt-trip them into changing their decision.

Overall, dealing with guilt and pressure can be challenging, but it’s important to stay true to one’s own needs and boundaries.

Self-Care and Support

Building a Support Network

Going low contact with a narcissist can be a difficult and emotional process. It’s important to have a support network in place to help you through this journey. This can include friends, family, therapists, support groups, or anyone else who can provide emotional support and guidance.

When building a support network, it’s important to choose people who are understanding and empathetic. Avoid individuals who may try to convince you to reconcile with the narcissist or who may minimize your experiences.

Engaging in Self-Care Practices

Engaging in self-care practices is crucial when going low contact with a narcissist. This can help reduce stress, improve mental health, and increase overall well-being. Some self-care practices to consider include:

  • Exercise: Exercise can help reduce stress and improve mood.
  • Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help reduce anxiety and improve mental clarity.
  • Hobbies: Engaging in hobbies or activities that bring joy can help improve overall well-being.
  • Therapy: Therapy can provide a safe space to process emotions and develop coping strategies.

It’s important to prioritize self-care and make time for these practices regularly. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish, but rather a necessary step in healing and moving forward.

Navigating Legal and Professional Situations

When dealing with a narcissist, it is important to be prepared for any legal or professional situations that may arise. Here are some tips for navigating those situations:

  • Document everything: When dealing with a narcissist, it is important to keep a record of all interactions. This includes emails, text messages, and phone calls. If you have to meet with the narcissist in person, consider bringing a witness or recording the conversation (if it is legal in your state).
  • Consult with a lawyer: If you are dealing with a narcissist in a legal situation, it is important to consult with a lawyer. A lawyer can help you understand your rights and options, and can represent you in court if necessary.
  • Stay professional: When dealing with a narcissist in a professional setting, it is important to remain professional and courteous. Avoid getting into arguments or engaging in any behavior that could be seen as unprofessional.
  • Set boundaries: If you are dealing with a narcissist in a professional setting, it is important to set clear boundaries. Let the narcissist know what behavior is acceptable and what is not, and be prepared to enforce those boundaries if necessary.
  • Stay calm: Dealing with a narcissist can be frustrating and stressful, but it is important to stay calm and composed. Don’t let the narcissist’s behavior get under your skin, and avoid getting emotional or confrontational.

By following these tips, you can navigate legal and professional situations with a narcissist in a calm and professional manner. Remember to document everything, consult with a lawyer if necessary, set boundaries, and stay calm and professional.


Going low contact with a narcissist can be a difficult but necessary step for those who want to protect their mental health and well-being. It’s important to remember that going low contact does not mean cutting off all communication or contact with the narcissist, but rather limiting interactions to only what is necessary.

By setting clear boundaries and sticking to them, individuals can reduce the amount of stress and anxiety caused by the narcissist’s behavior. This may include limiting phone calls, avoiding face-to-face interactions, and only communicating through email or text messages.

It’s also important to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist during this process. Having a strong support system can help individuals stay committed to their boundaries and provide a safe space to process any emotions that may arise.

Ultimately, going low contact with a narcissist is about taking control of one’s own life and prioritizing their own well-being. It may be a difficult journey, but with patience, perseverance, and support, it is possible to maintain healthy boundaries and protect oneself from the negative effects of a narcissistic relationship.

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