Jung & Myers & Briggs

INTJ – INFJ Relationship

Interested in the INTJ – INFJ relationship? Then this guide is for you!

When seeking a relationship, both the INTJ and INFJ personalities take the matter very seriously. Independent by nature, neither of these types is seeking a casual encounter as their goal is to find a long-term, committed relationship.

A true connection is of utmost importance, allowing a deep and meaningful relationship to develop.

Although INTJ and INFJ personalities comprise about 3 percent of the population combined, these two types are inherently drawn to each other if the opportunity to meet presents itself.

Introverted Intuition as a Backbone

The dominant function of introverted intuition gives the INTJ-INFJ couple a solid foundation to build upon.

Both the INTJ and the INFJ prefer to view the big picture rather than dealing with all of the finer details.

As both types are partial to abstract ideas, opportunities for meaningful communication abound at every turn.

INTJs and INFJs also like to let their thoughts linger over possibilities rather than what is, and this gives the couple the chance to create a plan for the future.

Common Ground

INTJs and INFJs share many traits, often making it easier for them to relate to each other.

Because both of these types are introverts, they need to spend time alone to recharge. They often react to the same external stressors, so they will be able to provide acceptance and understanding to each other.

Neither the INTJ nor the INFJ will mind when the other needs downtime as both can easily sit in silence alone in their own thoughts without the need for external stimulation.

Togetherness can be found when each person enjoys their own activity in the same room as the other.

Additionally, there’s not much pressure from either party to get out and do something since each has issues with being in crowds.

However, as each one tends to dislike anything that feels mundane, both the INTJ and the INFJ can be impulsive at times. This can lead to exciting adventures, especially those that allow them to enjoy the beauty and complexity of nature.

Structure is an integral part of the daily life of the INTJ and the INFJ. When sharing the same spaces, there’s likely a place for everything with everything in its place.

While they may not necessarily agree on the exact organization of their household, the couple will appreciate the process of coming together to brainstorm on an arrangement.

The same can be true for the more abstract aspects of daily life. Both have a need for closure and a laid-out plan to know what to expect.

However, it can be difficult for the INTJ and the INFJ to move beyond the thinking stage to actual implementation.

This is where they can use their complementary ways of viewing the world to push each other into finding a workable solution.

Since both love exploring new ideas and concepts, they will likely have many stimulating conversations based around theories and what could be. Solving problems comes naturally to each of these types.

By maintaining open lines of communication and accepting the other’s point of view, the INTJ-INFJ couple should be able to work through problems as they arise.

Because both parties tend to focus on the big picture, it’s important for each person to attend to details to ensure that they are both in agreement.

Overcoming Differences

As with any relationship, differences are bound to occur. For the INTJ-INFJ couple, this generally comes down to a clash between dominant thinking or feeling.

Whereas the INTJ prefers to use logical, rational analyses when deciphering the world, the INFJ is more concerned with feelings and impact on others.

INTJs like to think out loud, using an intellectual process that might include using charts and diagrams to get the point across.

On the other hand, INFJs tend to think things through in their heads and view discussing unfinished thoughts as an intrusion.

The INFJ personality readily shows emotions externally, needing to outwardly express their feelings.

Being more of a private type, the INTJ is more likely to keep such feelings inside though emotions can still run deep. In many cases, the INTJ may find the other to be overly sensitive while the INFJ might see the other as being cold.

Handling Disagreements

For the INTJ-INFJ couple, disagreements don’t typically turn into arguments. This is because the INFJ avoids conflict by maintaining harmony while the INTJ often does what is needed to stick with the plan.

However, because both types are strong willed and decisive by nature, small disagreements can turn into heated arguments when neither party wants to budge.

Because both personality types need closure when dealing with problems, arguments can last for hours with no resolution. To make matters worse, without the necessary control, they may fall into the underdeveloped portions of their personalities.

The INTJ may resort to emotional outbursts, attempting to portray their feelings and the unfairness of a given situation. Trying to make logical sense out of the circumstances, the INFJ may nitpick anything that’s said, trying to dispute the accuracy or truthfulness of their partner’s statements.

As introverts, the best thing for a couple to do is to take a cool-down period where they can more effectively process their thoughts and emotions. After a time, they should each be able to see the other’s perspective and find a way to compromise.

Tips for the INTJ-INFJ Couple

Although INTJs and INFJs are introverted, they both want to be heard and understood. Each person should take the time to listen carefully to what the other has to say.

For the INFJ

  • Be honest and direct.
  • Ask for guidance on implementing projects.
  • Remain rational when disagreeing.
  • Understand the INTJ has feelings.

For the INTJ

  • Be considerate of the other’s emotions.
  • Express your feelings more.
  • Understand the INFJ is logical and rational.
  • Be gentle with criticism.

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