Narcissist Love Bombing: 7 Ways To Tell if a Narcissist Is Love Bombing You 

If you’re in the love-bombing phase of a relationship with a narcissist, it may be hard to tell at first because it seems so genuine. It may seem like the beginning of any other new relationship.

However, love bombing doesn’t last with a narcissist.

Because of this, many people who haven’t been in a relationship with a narcissist before may not be able to distinguish love bombing from the typical “honeymoon” phase of any new relationship.

Love bombing isn’t strictly limited to romantic relationships. It can happen in friendships. If someone you just met or got closer to suddenly starts doting on you in extreme ways, it’s important to keep your guard up.

The love bombing phase is quick and intense, often much shorter than a typical honeymoon phase of a new relationship.

The intensity and duration should be the first two signs that raise red flags. Look for some of these signs to determine if you’re being love-bombed.

1. The compliments are constant and exaggerated

Every person has talents, good qualities, or other positive attributes. It’s good when others see those and give you the compliments you deserve.

However, narcissists may give you unbelievable compliments or beyond anything you’ve heard. We all love the idea of constant praise, but it’s a red flag.

In a normal and new romantic relationship, your partner may tell you often that they like your smile or your eyes. They’re consistent.

On the other hand, a narcissist may also compliment everything you say or do. You may feel like you’re being worshipped instead of complimented.

If you’re friends with a narcissist, that person may tell you that you look great in clothes that you know aren’t flattering.

All your other friends may tell you that certain looks don’t suit you, but the narcissist is more likely to tell you that you look great when you don’t.

As the relationship progresses, a narcissist will like it better if you don’t look your best. Narcissists ultimately want to look or feel superior to you.

2. They pretend to be passionate about your interests

Narcissists know how to find out what their victims are passionate about and how to make themselves seem similar to their victims at first.

The narcissist needs to appear as the ideal partner or friend. It’s part of how they build themselves up as someone you need or desire, and they know you’ll do anything for them if you care enough about them.

Perhaps you like model cars. Suddenly, the narcissist is talking about model cars and “just loves them.” At first, you’re impressed. However, you soon notice that the person seems to have a superficial knowledge of them.

It’s normal for a new partner or friend to take a general interest in your interests. However, the difference with a narcissist is that the narcissistic person acts more like they want to be you.

Remember that narcissists are drawn to people they admire and want to be like. You may find that the fake persona the narcissist tries to create is similar to your natural personality and attributes.

3. There are over-the-top grand gestures

Narcissists tend to go above and beyond normal actions in new relationships. They want to create a grand image of themselves, superior to anyone you’ve known.

This is why they turn to elaborate gestures. It may feel like they care about you, but their ultimate goal is to create an image that you’ll admire.

In a healthy relationship, it may be normal for a partner to send you roses at work often. A narcissist is more likely to fill your office with roses or send them daily. Everyone else is envious and tells you that you’re lucky, and you believe it.

A narcissist may go out of their way to make or buy exquisite food for you every day. They may buy you a new car, expensive gifts, or take you on a luxury vacation.

These are just some examples, and the gestures may vary depending on the person’s budget. However, they’ll feel overwhelming, and that’s a red flag.

4. They want to spend every second with you or doting on you

Narcissists tend to focus all their energy and attention on a new source of narcissistic supply.

They see suppliers as a form of energy and rest assured that they’ll use that energy if they get past the initial love bombing phase.

Maybe you just met a few days ago, but the narcissist is already trying to move in or get you to move in. They may show up to surprise you frequently.

From the surprises the narcissist produces, you can tell that the person spends all their free time on you. They’re making food, shopping, or doing something else for you even when they’re not with you.

There are constant calls or texts. They’re tagging you or flooding your social media notifications when they’re not texting or calling. They want and need your undivided attention.

Since they dote on you and seem so likable, it may not feel annoying initially.

It’s nice to feel special, but you soon start to feel more overwhelmed than important. It almost feels like the narcissist is stalking you. They shower you with praise and gifts, so it’s easy to get comfortable and miss this red flag.

5. They act like the relationship is deep when it’s new

Narcissists make victims feel important, loved, and impressed at the beginning. It’s almost like the narcissist casts a spell, making a victim believe that the friendship or relationship is beyond special.

They need to be the most important person who ever lived.

If you’re in a new romantic relationship, you may hear “I love you” or “we’re soulmates” on the first day. You may get a proposal after a week or two. Everything feels rushed. These are all major red flags. Nobody should act this way when they don’t even know you.

If you just made friends with a narcissist, that person may ask to hang out with you and your family. Since narcissists tend to lack boundaries, they may even show up uninvited if they know you’ll be somewhere.

They’ll make it seem thoughtful, but don’t ignore that quiet feeling of uncomfortableness.

6. You feel like you’re living in a fairytale

Narcissists are creative and know how to build the image of a perfect relationship, at least for a short time. All the affection, attention, and care they pretend to show make victims feel like they’ve found the right partner or best friend.

The narcissist tells you that you were meant to be together. They never loved anyone more than you. Since their actions focus on you, it’s easy to believe that when you’re infatuated with the person.

Because of the narcissist’s words and actions, you feel the relationship will last and be strong forever.

If you’re friends, the narcissist tells you that you’ll always be best friends, and they’ll always be there for you. Believing those words, you feel lucky that you found a friend who cares deeply.

7. You feel like there’s forcefulness

Since narcissists know what they want and how to get it, they’re not afraid to use force. They know how to combine it with actions that seem loving.

Because people often assume that narcissists only think of themselves, it can be easy to mistake the beginning of the love bombing phase for selflessness and miss the red flags of narcissism.

As you reach the end of the love bombing phase, you’ll feel forced into whatever position the narcissist wants you in. The narcissist might rush you into making a quick decision if they proposed last week.

You’ll keep getting phone calls from the narcissist about going with you to your family’s upcoming reunion or an outing with your other friends.

At this point, the forcefulness may start to feel a little uncomfortable. You may not feel as uncomfortable if you felt lonely before meeting the narcissist.

You might brush off your doubts because you enjoy the attention. If you stick around for the devaluation phase, which is next, you’re in for a nightmarish change.

Remember that whenever you feel uncomfortable, it’s important to stop and explore the reasons. It’s easy to overlook these things in any relationship’s early stages, but doing so can lead to emotional turmoil later.

Step back and take it slow if you think you’re being love bombed by a narcissist and are unsure.

Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, getting to know the person well before you give them your full trust is important.

Also, set strict and clear boundaries to give yourself the respect and protection you deserve. If you’re sure you’re dealing with a narcissist, now’s the time to end it.

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