Narcissist Hoovering Tactics

Are you interested in the narcissist hoovering tactics? Then this guide is for you!

Hoovering is a term that refers to the vacuum cleaner brand. It’s a way that a narcissist will suck you back into his or her rabbit hole.

Because this person wants to feel like he or she still has some sort of control over you, the narcissist will typically use hoovering after a period of absence when you’ve finally accepted that the relationship is over.

You might wonder how you could get sucked back into a narcissistic relationship once you’ve finally broken free.

Since the narcissist generally waits a while before trying to weasel his or her way back into your life, the abuse and negative treatment may have softened your memory.

The individual will count on this by reminding you of the positive way the relationship was in the beginning.

You must know this person hasn’t changed.

The narcissist simply wants to reaffirm his or her belief that he or she still has power over you.

Let’s look at some of the hoovering tactics that a narcissist may use to get you back.

1. Pretending the relationship never ended

It’s been months when all of a sudden, this person shows up at your house or work as if nothing ever happened.

The narcissist will have some sort of excuse as to why he or she hasn’t been around for so long and will make it truly believable.

It could be some sort of family emergency where this person had to leave the state to be with an ill family member or that there was a death in the family, and this individual had to handle all of the details of the estate.

Whatever the reason provided, this person never really left, and the two of you will pick up where you left off.

2. Calling or texting to say hi

The narcissist has just been thinking about you, wondering how you are doing.

Maybe he or she just heard your song on the radio, or the narcissist just wants to let you know that he or she is always there if you ever need anything.

3. Sending accidental messages

You may receive a text message from this person’s number that doesn’t seem to make sense.

The narcissist may reply that it was sent accidentally and was meant for someone else.

Alternatively, the message might be to a new love interest without a secondary text to explain.

This is just to get you thinking about the narcissist so that he or she can test the waters before making more full-blown attempts at re-entering your life.

4. Making ghost phone calls or texts

Whether hanging up or just sitting on the line softly breathing once you answer, you’ll wonder if it’s the narcissist as the call will come from a private number.

In the same way, you might receive a call from his or her cell phone with no response on the other end, making you to wonder if this person pocket-dialed you by accident.

5. Sending gifts

Flowers, candy, or trinkets might suddenly appear at your home or workplace.

You will know that these are from the narcissist because they will be things that he or she knows that you like or similar to items he or she has given you in the past.

6. Apologizing

The narcissist may make contact with you to apologize for all that he or she has done, taking full though insincere responsibility for the relationship’s downfall.

The way things went down won’t happen again.

7. Making promises

Everything will be different this time. The narcissist will promise a wonderful future together.

8. Declaring an undying love

“You’re the only one I love” or “You’re my soulmate” are some phrases that you might hear when a narcissist is trying to hoover you back in.

After some time apart, you may think that this person realizes that he or she made a mistake, but don’t fall for it.

9. Using other people

This person may keep in contact with a family member or a friend.

Through casual conversation, he or she may make a positive statement about you that is meant for the other person to tell you.

Alternatively, the narcissist may have a mutual friend or family member approach you on his or her behalf to tell you how badly this person feels about what happened and how much he or she wants you back.

10. Creating a “valid” reason for contacting you

You may receive a call or message wishing you a good holiday or a happy birthday.

Perhaps the narcissist will claim that he or she felt that something bad was about to happen to you or that he or she heard some news about you and wants to confirm if it’s true.

Conversely, this person may be experiencing an emergency that “only you” can help with.

11. Needing to return something or asking for an item to be returned

While it’s only natural to return belongings to each other following a breakup, this typically occurs shortly afterward.

A narcissist will wait for some time before contacting you about belongings, leaving this as a way to come back at a time that he or she sees fit.

12. Claiming not to be able to survive without you

This person will claim that he or she can’t stop thinking about you or can’t live without you.

No one else could ever understand this individual the way that you do. Without you, the narcissist is alone in the world with no direction and nowhere to turn.

13. Promising closure

If the narcissist left and never returned with no explanation, he or she may try to reconnect by promising to explain what happened or to answer any questions you have.

14. Asking to see you one more time

By asking for one more night together or just the opportunity to see you once, the narcissist is tricking you into making it more than that.

15. Reminiscing over good times

This person was just thinking about something you did in the past, such as a vacation you took together.

Maybe he or she found a picture of the two of you and wants to relive the moment with you.

This is just a way to get you to focus on the positive so that you forget what harm the narcissist caused you.

16. Telling you one specific thing that what you want to hear

Whatever you wished would happen the first time around, this is what the narcissist will promise you.

If you’ve always wanted to get married, he or she may talk about looking at rings together.

If you wanted him or her to take more interest in your children, he might offer to take them out to a movie or to play putt-putt golf.

17. Faking vulnerability

Ever since the two of you broke up, things allegedly have started to go downhill for the narcissist.

Maybe this person lost his or her job or has been diagnosed with a medical condition.

Pulling at your heartstrings, this individual needs your help or support to get through this trying time and to get his or her life back on track.

18. Claiming he or she has changed

Whatever problems this person has caused in your relationship, he or she has now received help.

Whether through counseling or simply by growing up during the time you’ve been apart, the narcissist is now all better and ready to get back to the way things should have been in the first place.

19. Reconnecting on social media

Maybe you’ll get a friend request from this person on Facebook, or the individual will start following you on Instagram.

Whichever social media platform you use, the narcissist may start liking your posts.

In the alternative, the narcissist may block or unblock you, hoping you’ll notice the change.

20. Using religious talk

If you’re devout in your religious beliefs, the narcissist will use this against you.

He or she may claim that it is God’s will for the two of you to be together or that you’re not receptive to reconciliation because you’re the one drifting away from God.

21. Creating drama

The narcissist may threaten to harm himself or herself or stand outside your home or place of employment to make a scene to get you to notice and interact.

22. Making accusations

If you don’t get back together with the narcissist, he or she may accuse you of dating his or her friend, even claiming you were cheating with this person while the two of you were together.

23. Guilting and blaming

When you refuse to take the narcissist back, he or she will put it all on you because this person has tried everything to reconcile with you.

The individual will threaten to cut off all contact with you in the hopes that you can’t handle the abandonment yet again.

24. Spreading rumors

The narcissist may bait you by spreading lies and rumors about you.

Alternatively, this person may contact you claiming that he or she heard someone else saying something bad about you.

25. Threatening

If all else fails, the narcissist may blackmail you or threaten to ruin your life or social standing. Please, get help at this point, and don’t give in to this manipulation.

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