Enneagram 1 and 9 Relationship
Are you interested in the Enneagram 1 and 9 relationship? Then this guide is for you!
Type 1 -Moral Reformer
Keeper of the rules, Critical of Quality, Seeks Perfection, Crusader
Type 9 – Mediator for Peace
Keeper of the Peace, Mediator, Pleasant, Modest, Humble, Diplomat, Pacifist
Type 1 & 9 Core Patterns
The paring of Type 1 and Type 8 is ruled by the Gut Triad, meaning that both value independence and autonomy.
Ones achieve peace by working very hard and raising their self-esteem. This causes them to feel emotionally peaceful.
Nines search for peace by withdrawing, seeking out a quiet time, and being alone. They meditate and contemplate and come to find peace by looking inward.
Ones focus on having high moral standards. They are hard-working, diligent, attentive to detail, and are good, solid, moral individuals.
Conversely, Nines are accepting of others, relaxed and serene.
During stressful times, Nines are infamous for becoming withdrawn and stubborn, while Ones can transform into super-critical and have a sharp tongue.
Shared Values Between Type 1 and Type 9
If you are looking for people who seek continual orderliness and who are idealistic, Ones and Nines fill the bill.
They are steadfast in their quest to achieve their goals in ways that seek justice.
Both types are pragmatic and consistent people.
They both tend to hide from confrontation and try hard, never to cause trouble or make waves.
How Types One and Nine Complement One Other
Types Nine and One are idealistic, each takes an individual approach.
Ones count on abstract principles to take them where they want to be, and Nines rely more on their relationships that reside in the here and now.
Nines and Ones are very hard-working individuals who aren’t afraid to sacrifice to achieve their goals.
Neither has to have instant gratification for any type of emotional or even monetary payoff.
These two live in the present moment.
They both cherish the ability to put others’ needs above their own.
Nines tend to be gentle souls who accept others and try to support whoever they can unconditionally.
Ones are rational, linear thinkers who envision the results and find ways to achieve whatever is under consideration.
Type Ones are rational individuals with strong skills for articulating exactly what they envision.
Nines tend to be open-minded, gentle people who support others in the most unconditional ways possible.
Nines are known not to be demanding and tend to be congenial types which are easy to get along with. Ones can be less so.
Ones can be supportive, but only so long as they can convince the person being supported to come over to their way of thinking.
They focus on what is “right” and good but sometimes risk losing their partner’s affection.
Type Ones and Type Nines tend to bond over their shared goals and ideals.
They engage in a hierarchy wherein one partner serves to manage everything while the other lends support through interpersonal connections.
Nines can bestow an appreciation in Ones for seeing things from more than one perspective.
Nines teach Ones how to give the various viewpoints equal consideration. Nines serve to soften the hard and narrow perspectives of Type Ones.
Ones add a layer of clarity to Type Nines’ confusing world.
How Type Ones and Type Nines Can Get Into Trouble
Their conflicting stress responses are the main obstacles that face a pairing of a Type One and a Type Nine.
Ones do not handle their stress well when activities significantly diverge from their vision.
They tend to lash out and attempt to blame others for things that they, themselves, are responsible for causing.
During stressful times, Ones tend not to deal with it well, prickling with anger, and very difficult to please.
They become obsessed with finding fault, rushing about and attempting to forcefully enforce improvement.
Nines, on the other hand, become less effective and cannot communicate as well as usual.
Sometimes, they withdraw socially, and Ones do not accept this easily, taking it personally.
Sometimes Nines muster the courage to stand up to One’s criticism, but more often, they withdraw, causing. an unresolvable power struggle.
What Type One and Type Nine Needs To Be Aware Of
Ones need to look inward to see how much their judgment and harshness can hurt others, especially their Type Nine partners.
They should also face that the harsher they are, the less likely their feedback will be respected.
Their standards can be simply too high to be deemed reasonable.
Nines tend to distract themselves by diverging from present times, and reaching for creature comforts.
They find decision-making very difficult when things get too stressful, so avoid making them altogether.
While kind and gentle, Nines may harbor feelings of resentment that are not displayed externally.
Upon reflection, Ones might realize that they tend to lose touch with the things they prioritize.
On the other hand, Nines should understand that their reliance on timetables and schedules will not deter them from the complex decision-making necessary to meet their goals.
How Types Nine and One Can Support One Another
Ones can best support Nines by working on their temperament, especially during stressful times. They should seek to understand Type Nine’s gentle nature.
For optimum support, Ones need to do their best to develop flexibility and patience and deliver their feedback to Nines in an encouraging, non-critical manner.
When Nines perceive a lack of appreciation, they may withdraw, sometimes for long periods of time.
When they feel overwhelmed, Ones can be supportive by stepping up to the plate to pick up the slack.
This pair needs to have healthy boundaries and clear communication.
There are times when Nines require coaxing before they can comfortably voice that which lies in their hearts…their needs, perspectives and desires.
This is especially true if what they desire goes against the wishes of their One partners.
They can feel unappreciated, yet will not say anything, preferring to suffer in silence. Nines truly appreciate being able to express themselves without being judged.
Each partner in this pairing desires to be reactive, as opposed to being dynamic or proactive.
Each partner needs to exercise caution not to wait for the other person to initiate things because that might mean waiting longer than either is comfortable with.
Both Nines and Ones need to learn to take the initiative.
Clear communication that has been regularly scheduled will help clarify things, as these two personality types are known to misunderstand the motivation of the other at times.
The problem diminishes with clear communication.
When working with Type Ones, Type Nines must be precise when giving directions and setting deadlines.
It is the habit of Ones to work best when they are already aware of where they are going. It instills a sense of security and confidence in them.
Conclusion
Type Nines and Type Ones together are cut from the same cloth, up to a point.
Therefore, their attraction to one another stems from a sense of understanding the other person on every level, in some ways.
The narcissistic tendencies in each of them causes them to feel that they are viewing themselves in a mirror when each looks at the other.
They are not identical, but they can quickly pick up the nuances that others miss. That said, some very stark differences differentiate each from the other.
Ones are single-minded. They contemplate things, make decisions and stick to those decisions, regardless of what anyone else has to say about it.
Nines on the other hand are more flexible, and can be influenced to change their minds. This is the key to why they get along as well as they do.
Ones like to direct Nines, and Nines take direction well. Nines are more playful, and like to experiment and try new things.
Ones can benefit this, as Nines can help them break out of their shells.
Ones will always resist, but Nines use their playful nature to coax Ones into relaxing and accepting life’s fun side.
A pairing of a One and a Nine can potentially affect changes for the betterment of the world that other pairings cannot accomplish.
The unique qualities that each possesses has strong persuasive abilities.
People outside the relationship stand up and notice when these two set out to do something.
Fortunately for both members of this pairing, each party in the relationship desires to do good and make the world a better place.
With the One partner in charge, the Nine partner can use his or her creativity to make sure the couple is understood and that others follow along.
One’s rigidity can ensure that regulations are met and that rules are followed to the letter, which can be good, if not taken to extremes.
Still, Type Nines can “soften the edges” and invoke a sense of ease in those who are uncomfortable following Ones’ lead.
This pairing is good for any type of civic work, whether volunteering, organizing or implementing grand plans that will change an entire city.
They work hand-in-hand for the betterment of humankind, even though each partner can sometimes be hard on the other.
It is the area of their own intimacy that is of the highest concern.
While Ones and Nines can have a hugely positive effect on the rest of the world, it is their own relationship that needs the gentlest nurturing to make it a long-lasting and loving endeavor.
The answer lies in clear communication, good listening skills, and patience, which can be developed solidly over a long period.
Here are guides to Type 1 relationships with other types:
Can a gifted therapist help you too?
If you struggle with anxiety, depression, high-stress levels, relationship issues, or other specific challenges, one-on-one support from a therapist can help a lot.
You don’t need to go through this alone. There’s no shame in getting help!
Thousands of people get tailor-made support from a kind, empathetic, helpful therapist when faced with difficult life situations.
I recommend BetterHelp, which is a sponsor of Personality Unleashed.
It’s private, affordable, and takes place in the comfort of your own home.
Plus, you can talk to your therapist however you feel comfortable, whether through video, phone, or messaging.
Are you ready to break the negativity cycle?
Personality Unleashed readers get 10% off their first month. Click here to learn more.