Enneagram 2 and 8 Relationship

Are you interested in the Enneagram 2 and 8 relationship? This guide is for you!

2 – The Nurturer Counselor

Assistant, Good Person, Nurturing Individual, Altruistic, Giving Individual, Counselor, Advisor

8- Challenger Who Protects

Challenger, Negotiator, In Charge, Leader, One Who Protects, In Command

Type 2 and Type 8 Core Patterns

It is not easy for a Type 2 personality to be forthcoming with emotions when they are negative ones, such as anger or sadness.

They try, but they cannot control their environment, so rather than express how they are feeling, Type 2s often hide their feelings and adopt a take-charge attitude, especially during stressful times.

From the outside, they appear to have great expertise in whatever they do, including handling crises. No one suspects a thing when they are in emotional pain.

They are open to all people and are known for being quite generous.

Type 8s are very intense individuals, full of passion and lust.

Unlike their Type Two partners, Type 8s do not usually live with a sacrificial attitude, unless someone very close to them requires them to sacrifice something, such as their time, abilities or material goods, for a justifiable reason.

They are very vivacious people, full of life and energy. Eights are quite selective and do not allow just anyone to enter into their lives.

However, if you are included, know that a Type 8 will defend you to death.

Eights do not care if they are liked or not.

They want to be in control at all times and demand that procedures be followed as they require them to be, and to the letter.

Values Shared by Types 2 & 8

There are several notable commonalities between Types 2& 8, the least of which is their mutual concern for protecting those they love.

When in a relationship together, each partner wants to nurture, give to and care for his or her partner beyond the scope of any other relationship.

When they have children together, this becomes even more true.

Another thing that they share is an equal commitment to being reliable, strong, and inexorable in the relationship so that neither of them feels a burden to the other.

Both parties attempt to pull their weight at all times.

Eights are natural leaders whose style entails being out front, before all. Twos work better when they offer support behind the scenes.

While each has separate motivating factors for this, they share the same dedication to hard work, passion, making sacrifices, and to be generous.

Ways in Which Types 2 & 8 Compliment One Another

Eights and Twos are dedicated, hard workers who are completely reliable, excepting extraneous circumstances.

Eights are greatly appreciated by their type Two partners for their leadership ability when needed.

Eights, on the other hand, admire how their type Two partners always seem to find kindness and generosity in their dealings with the world.

This is a good influence for Type Eights, and enables them to feel safe enough to open up when they are feeling vulnerable because they know that their partners will always be there for them with kindness and understanding and that they will be generous with their emotional dedication.

Type Twos have a keen sense of intuition and can clearly see the key participants and how to handle them in a given situation.

Eights have an inner knowledge that helps them lay out the best plan of action to achieve the most desirable outcome.

When working together in an office setting, type Two should be the one to oversee the relationship and whatever the team might require to optimize its performance.

Eights, on the other hand, are the bosses. They know how to lead.

Twos and Eights are especially complimentary in a romantic relationship together.

They seem to be breathing the same air, thinking the same thoughts, and sharing their energy in the most remarkably positive ways.

They can clear the path for great accomplishments by simply recognizing their value, as well as their limitations, and using both things as their guidelines for success.

How Type 2 and 8 Can Find Themselves in Trouble

Where others are concerned, type 2s and 8s can quickly find themselves in sticky situations.

Eights can throw others for a loop with their directness and fierce independence.

They can easily come off as being caustic and lacking a sense of sentimentality. Twos, on the other hand, are much less indirect.

They are prone to becoming co-dependent and are people pleasers. People can find their overly-sentimental ways to be off-putting.

While Twos have the ability to easily determine the perspectives of other people and strive to treat them with empathy, Eights have little regard for what others’ points of view are.

This can create trouble in either direction, as Twos stance can result in gaining the reputation of being two saccrine, and Eights can be viewed by others as too harsh.

It is Eight’s general belief that all people should be independent to take good care of themselves without help from anyone outside.

Twos rush to help whether it is needed or not.

Twos and Eights can quickly fall into a dominant/submissive way of doing things, which causes a healthy relationship.

While Eights are generally pleased being in a dominant role, the Type Twos can eventually resent it and start acting out because of it.

They get lost in the submissive role, and when anyone attempts to intervene, the Type Two personality will simply make excuses for the behavior of his or her Eight partners.

Eights can have temper tantrums and make unreasonable demands that seem completely unprovoked.

The anger and intensity of Type Eights can grow tiresome for a Type Two, and eventually, he or she will seek a less stressful relationship with someone else.

Type Twos seek out others who can more openly share of themselves and are not afraid of exposing their vulnerabilities.

When this happens, the Eight partner gives no indication that he or she cares, and simply moves on to the next person.

He or she finds sentimentality a weakness.

What Types 2 and 8 Need To Be Aware Of

The “no excuses” mentality of the Type 8 personality can be a liability when in a relationship with a Type 2.

Type 2s can find it scary and feel alienated because of it.

Type 8 should be more revealing of what drives them and should learn to relax more. Their standards can simply be too high for the comfort of most people.

For instance, when an unpleasant event transpires, the 8 can explain to the 2 why they feel so uncomfortable about it, giving the 2 a chance to comfort them and feel more on par as a couple.

Twos should learn to back off about Type Eight’s emotions and not attempt to be their psychotherapist.

Attempting to engage on a therapeutic level can drive their Eight partners to despair and cause an eventual breakup of the relationship.

Twos need to understand that their Eight partners live to come up with answers to problems.

That is their primary motivation for all things, and they do not enjoy being questioned about their methods.

They would rather feel understood than viewed as problems that need to be solved through unauthorized therapy, which is what Type Two offers.

Ways in Which a Type Two and Type Eight Can Support One Another

Because Type Twos are gentle and emotionally fragile by nature, they can “take the edge off” a Type Eight’s often-harsh demeanor.

Conversely, the great inner strength afforded the Type Eight can help Twos be less vulnerable and stronger when strength is most needed.

Each of these two members of the Two-Eight pairing has exactly what the other partner lacks, so they are good together because each can address the others’ insufficiencies with what they do best.

The generosity and understanding possessed by Type Two have a pronounced positive effect on Type Eight. Conversely, Type Two can learn best from a Type Eight partner how to stand up and defend him or herself.

While a Type Eight tends to withhold the rights of the underdog, who seeks justice, their energy becomes easily depleted for any cause worthy of their attention.

Since Type Two lacks good boundaries, Type Eights can help them overcome this deficiency.


Type Twos and Type Eights seem an unlikely match in many ways because, to the undiscerning eye, they can appear to be opposites.

While Twos are gentle souls who possess a lot of compassion for others, Type Eights have very little patience with anyone.

In social situations, Type Twos can be shy and withdrawn, acquiescing to others in order to get love and attention.

Eights, on the other hand, care not about what others think but whether or not anyone approves of them.

Type Eights are followers who are commanding, and are sometimes perceived to be harsh and rude.

Type Twos are friendly, follow a leader, and are usually considered kind and compassionate.

That said, Type Twos can help take the edge off of a high-strung Type Eights harshness, and Type Eights can teach their Type Two counterparts how to stand up and fight for his or her rights.

This is a combination that fits together like a hand inside a glove.

Their relationships do not always last permanently, but they create real magic when they do.

Here are guides to Type 2 relationships with other types:

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